I know we all want to lose weight right now, and never have a gain and just get to our goals but it doesn’t always, or honestly very often even, happen that way. Our bodies are, as they say, not Amazon Prime delivering results in a few days. πŸ˜‚

I was always a chubby kid but I think my body started giving up on me as a teenager apparently because by the time I was 18, I had to have a basketball sized mass removed that had completely enveloped my right side reproduction – ovary, tubes etc… They swore I was pregnant and just didn’t know it… Uuhhhh Nope….

So I had a partial oopherectomy at 18, then a mass developed on the other side, but I recognized the symptoms sooner and we caught it at about cantaloupe size… Another surgery which this time induced menopause at 23 – FUN!

I was also involved in a drunk driving accident around the same age… We were stopped at a light and were hit by a drunk driver doing almost 70. He totaled the car and plowed us through the intersection, where only by the grace of some higher power, there was no one coming. This did a number on my spine and hip and was the beginning of many, many years of physical therapy, chiropractors, Chinese herbologists, Reiki practioners, the start of my Fibromyalgia and an unrelenting stream of meds…I still do and always will have continuing issues from this.

Fast forward a bit and by 30 I was at my highest weight then of 278lbs (2005)… I joined WW, did Core/Momentum and I lost 102lbs while in menopause but it took a fair amount of time (14 months). I was living in New Zealand at the time and had access to amazing fresh seafood, fresh produce and I walked everywhere. It was easy and affordable to make healthy choices.

I kept it off for a long time then I had to move back to the US and eventually I got sick with autoimmune issues and by 2017 I had ballooned back up to almost 300lbs… I lost my hair, lost sight of the good things in my life and almost lost everything (but the weight which like Little Bo Peeps sheep – always knew where to find me)

At this point my primary doc and I were discussing gastric sleeve surgery because we can’t get my blood pressure/cholesterol regulated, we’re throwing a million meds at it but it is making it worse and after leaving yet another specialist in tears because, according to them, there is nothing wrong with me except I’m fat and anxious – I didn’t know what to do. Digging around in a belly that already is upset by everything under the sun, including the Sun, is most likely not the best idea. I honestly think I would be a permanent pink hippo starring on Broadway in a tutu if we cut me open again. I don’t think my body would forgive me – or recover.

Last year, thankfully, I got a different diagnosis (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome) which has changed things and I was finally losing again but it is a cycle of inflammation flare ups – I regain and have to relose it.

This year has been rough so far… Several weeks ago I gained +16.6lbs in another flare up… This came on in 2 days and puts so much pressure on my organs, I have difficulty breathing, my BP goes haywire and not so long ago I collapsed in Kroger due to complications from a flare. It is a daily battle to balance my food sensitivities with environmental factors that cause reactions, try new meds, hope the newest change in weather doesn’t trigger a big blow up, figure out if I can do that sink of dishes or walk to the mailbox without causing breathing issues and try to just live some semblance of a normal life.

Even with everything going on with me medically, I am down about 50lbs now, but this is over 2.5yrs.

It’s hard – but if the only other option is giving up and regaining it all…that’s no answer – so I’ll take any tiny forward movement I can get…

If I gave up with any gain, much less a big one – I guarantee you my body would pack it in and I would be 400+lbs by the end of the year. No question…

Sometimes things complicate your situation. You can’t compare yourself to others or their results. It just isn’t the same. You also shouldn’t feel like you will lose the same way you did “last time” especially if last time was 10 or 20 or 40yrs ago. You don’t need to be your high school or prechild weight…things are not the same and you may need to readjust your perspective as to what is realistic and healthy for you now… Not “last time”…

Progress is progress, regardless of how slow, at least it’s progress… Is it frustrating to lose slowly – absolutely… But I say this with all the love and kindness in the world… At least you’re losing… #justkeepswimming

If you’ve gotten this far… I’m not saying anything here except – this is my story so far. For those who are struggling with a gain this week or are having a bad month, I hope that you find the strength, motivation and inspiration to continue, to grow, to change and to become the #wellnesswarrior I know you can be.

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